King Mole died on Jan.14th, 2002.  He was given a proper king's funeral like the viking moles of old.  It was my great honor to be with King Mole at his last moments.  It all started  when I came home from an early job of helping my wife move into her new classroom.  I noticed my cats playing with a little gray fur ball.  I took a closer look and realized that they had been brutalizing a poor little mole.  I picked him up and brought him inside.  At that point I made this post on the WWIIOL forums.

http://www5.playnet.com/bv/wwiiolhq/dg_message.jsp?page=1&group_id=8809&parent_id=73434
(please forgive all the horrible spelling...)

I have a mole, what should I do with him?

Bushman Posts: 2227

posted Mon, Jan 14 7:42am    Hi, when I came home this morning from helping my wife get her classroom ready (her first day at work!) I noticed my cats batting a little grey furball around. When I got out of the truck there was a little grey mole shivering in the grass. The cats weren't hungry and I guess they were just having some fun with him. I scooped him up and brought him inside. I thought he was ok and was gonna keep him as a mascot but his back legs don't seem to be working quite right and then I noticed that he has a big patch of skin missing from his chest. (really big) What should I do?

    As stated in the thread, I realized that the little guy was hurt pretty bad.  He wasn't walking quite right and had a bit of skin missing.  It turns out that the evil cats had dealt him a mortal blow.  
    As to the question of "What should I do?", I got several responses.

Shoot him.
Take him to the vet.
Blow him up.
Give him back to the cats.
Feed him to a snake.
Eat him.
Kill him.
Watch him, if he changes size or shape, call the doctor right away.
Make him into a WWIIOL mascot.
etc etc etc.

At some point BFD and Ironman suggested the following....

Bfd Posts: 494	posted Mon, Jan 14 8:38am    Why is it that I can't shake the mental picture of this thread ending with a viking funeral?
Ironman Posts: 177	posted Mon, Jan 14 8:41am    Well if he does pass into the great worm bed that is mole heaven I trust youll give him a proper viking funeral to send him on his way to mole valhalla.   Ack he beat me to it!

    It was a grand idea, for such a wonderful brave mole.  The problem was that he wasn't quite dead yet!!   However, before we had to decide on a kingly way to put a mole out of his misery, the great Mole King had expired..

Bushman Posts: 2233	posted Mon, Jan 14 8:44am    Hmmm... I think BFD has the right Idea. Mr. Mole is looking pretty bad. He is leaving little spots of blood behind him when he crawls and he sits funny when he stops :( I think we shall end his suffering and give him a proper viking funeral! We shall adorn his shoebox with all his worldly belongings (errmm grass clippings?) and gifts fit for a viking mole king! (any suggestions?) Then we shall set his funeral pyre alight and afloat apon the seas of the pond in my back yard! It shall be grand beyond any moles dreams! This mole! Mr. Mole! He shall go down in mole history as the greatest of kings!
Newkirk Posts: 196	posted Mon, Jan 14 8:48am    If you go the funeral route you gotta kill him first. Fire is my #1 wouldnt wanna go that way, death. Im sure its the same for moles
Bushman Posts: 2234	posted Mon, Jan 14 8:48am    How does one kill a Kingly mole without defiling his body? I can't just squish him or anything. He looks pretty much dead already and he doesn't move much when I poke him but I want to be sure. It would be horrible for Mr. Mole to be roused by the flames and go leaping into the sea!
Bushman Posts: 2235	posted Mon, Jan 14 9:04am    I'm afraid Mr. Mole the Great has expired. It will be some time before his funeral pyre is arrainged and if he isn't stiff by then I will know he is just sleeping or passed out. In any case here is what I have so far. His shoebox will be his boat. I have a straight pin for his sword and a button for his shield. I will fashon some mole armor as best I can with tinfoil. I will adorn him with gold clippings from an old 386 processor. Some paper clips A few nuts and bolts. Some smartys (candy) A pair of dice (Mr. Mole was a gambler) Some loose change. He will rest on 10 sheets of soft toilet paper atop a pile of dry grass and twigs. Now I just have to find some worms some place....

    So I decided on making a viking ship out of an old shoe box.  King Mole was given a crown made from an brass cap nut, a straight pin for a sword, a button for a shield, and a suit of tinfoil armor. The forum readers were getting impatient and I had to remind them that making a mole helmet from tinfoil took some time.  I surrounded the fallen king with items from his great treasury. Dice, pennies, buttons, rubber bands, nuts and bolts, and Smarties.